Today is an exciting day!

Kiwi has learned to whistle! The happiness is palpable. All that practicing has finally paid off.

This morning while waking up, she lay there trying and trying. All of the sudden-voila!- a sweet shrill sound was produced. The joy!


Happy Birthday My Joy!

Hey Little One, you are growing so fast, so tall, so beautiful. You make my heart smile and I’ll love you forever and for always because you are my Dear One. You amaze me daily with your spirit and your laughter, which you freely give. I hope you never loose that. Ever.

The more you grow the more I can see your personality come through. You will be strong, independent. No nonsense when needed and full of nonsense when needed, a perfect combo! You can, and will, do anything I have no fear of that! You will have the ability to go far, but may choose to stick close by anyway. Whatever you choose be happy.

You loose track of time easily, get distracted even easier and yet I wouldn’t change that for the world! You are unique and wonderful. Aunt Tanya S. calls you FireBall and yup, you own that.

At your birthday dinner choice of Chuck E. Cheese, you were all caught up in the games and rides that when it was time to leave you burst into a tear filled-“but I haven’t eaten yet!”. All caught up in the excitement and fun, you never stopped to eat. I love how you dive in and just go. No fear, no worry you live life! That is such a treasure to behold! Never loose this, it is a tremendous ability. Thankfully there was pizza a plenty and you polished off three slices in the car on the way home. Hungry indeed you were! Three whole slices! Where do you put it in that tiny little body?

Some of my favorite sayings you do:
Toys For Me instead of Toys ‘R Us
I love you with all my heart

Your favorite songs: Jump Rope and Blue Does by Blue October, Tinkerbell theme, Black Parade by MCR
Your favorite band: The Black Parade, a.k.a My Chemical Romance

I love how you sing-all the time! Never let the song go out in your heart no matter how many times you are asked to STOP SINGING. Never do. Sing on, sing strong! Sing me songs of your own creation or ones you’ve learned. Just sing if it brings joy to your heart. You have a gift here, when you hear a song once, you can sing much of it. You are definitely musically inclined and I love it. I think you do too!

As I watch you grow, I know you are going to be something special because My Joy, you already are! You already are.

My Son and the Easter Bunny

Saturday, April 11 of 2009 my son and I are chillin, watching one of ‘our’ shows and he asks: “Mom, is the Easter Bunny real? Tell me the truth.” (Me:*Gasp!*, *where is the air in this room!*, *The TRUTH??!*) After I learn to breathe again and stop the tear in my eye, I look at him, his face so beautiful, so open and honest, so ready. But I’m not-you are only 9-I’m not. I look again, he is. I still doubt so I ask if he really wants the truth and of course yes, he does-the TRUTH, he has only said ‘tell me the truth’ about five times now in his ‘serious’ voice. Third grade recess talk means this conversation has already happened. He is ready, so I tell him. The. Truth: No sweet prince, the Easter bunny is a fabrication of marketing to get folks to spend money. (Me: *that was too harsh, when will you learn to buffer ?*) But that is not enough of the truth he wants the who and why? It’s us, Dad and I, we do it for the giving, because we love you and it’s fun.

This all sinks in and the reality is now his as well. He tears up, he wanted to believe the myth. He wanted the dream of a fluffy bunny hopping in to give something special along with some chocolate. Me too, even now at 39, I want the dream. I want them all. But truth is good, necessary, wonderful even if it is sometimes painful, hard and long. The sadness is sinking in for him now, but the trick is don’t hold on to it. Let it enter, feel it, then let it go. The sadness is not the point, not the purpose. It is only a tool for our us.

Now he knows, and I hope he finds the new magic in the truth and join in the giving. Because that is what holidays are about: the giving. Will he still receive an Easter Basket full of goodies now? Yes. For as long as he lets me, yes. I will fill his basket with all the love I can give because he is worth it, forever!

I don’t blame you one bit my Love, not one iota as my tears joined yours on that evening. Often the first truths are the most difficult. 

Sweet Child, I love you with all my heart and more. The depth of  love I have for you can only come from God above, because it is not human how much I love you. You bless me to have you in my life. I thank God often for the opportunity to be your mom. 

You are the most special boy I have ever met. You amaze me daily and you are seeking the truth now. It is wonderful! Yet can you wait, just  for a bit? I may not be ready to tell you all the truths this world holds. Not yet. To me you are so young, so innocent, so precious. Yet you are growing. You are asking, which means you are ready. Ask away, my Joy, I will answer. Your wings are unfolding and I know they will be dry soon, then you will fly! This is my hope that you fly on! Only let me fill your Easter Basket for just awhile more.

Christmas 2008-The Blessed Best

The best Christmas. Just had surgery on Friday and I think it worked-finally at long last my 10+ year struggle with hip pain is almost over!  But wait that is not the best-est of the best…

Last week, I had the most special evening listening to the children decorate the tree all by themselves. Daddy had to work late, really late for a couple nights in a row. I had gingerbread houses to assemble and so many more ‘things’ to get done before surgery. It was up to the kids to do the tree, and they did it-beautifully, bestfully!! Hearing their voices full of joy  and wonder as they removed ornaments from boxes-“Look at this one! I made it in 1st grade.”, “Ooooh this one is so cute!”, “It’s Scooby Doo!”, was true magic.

Then the snow came. Some do not like snow. We do, we love it! This years snow was the best I have ever had in this house, and we were blessed with it-close to two feet! The kids played till they dropped. We know our layers, so cold did not deter our efforts. This year had enough snow to actually build a jump and a slalom! Best joy!

Christmas preparation is always a long list of to-do’s, longer when the Mommy is out of commission. Daddy got one break as the oldest is old enough to make his first of batch of cookies by himself. They were delicious chocolate-y goodness melted into butter and sweet milk, I would share but they are gone. They were the best cookies of the year.

Traditionally we go to Aunt B’s house for Christmas Eve. With all the snow and me on crutches, it was iffy. But we made it. The snow relented enough to let us drive in, drive out and return home at the end of the festivity. While there at B’s, everything was beauty. Gingerbread Trees, deliciously simple dinner, good people, good times. Blessings. Joy. Love.

Then it finally arrived: Christmas Day. The stockings were filled, the candy trail from Santa was not enjoyed by the dog or cat, and opening our presents. Daddy received most everything he wished for. The oldest had the time of his life between Aunt B, Sister and us he got a wagon load! The youngest who was full of happy exclamations opening each present was overjoyed with all she got. Then came mine. Oh how well I am loved, I am happy filled to the top! I wanted and was given a MacBook! Even the children are enamored with it. The youngest said, “Oh Mom, your new computer is so shiny that even though I know I can’t, I want to marry it!”, there was swooning involved during this statement. I understand you sweet one, I understand, it’s the best!

Following dinner the youngest, who has reached the milestone of staying awake for Santa’s arrival on Christmas Eve, also made her first batch of popcorn. She is on her way to Popcorn Master, a title to be treasured. Popcorn is big in our family – the best snack.

Now it is late, there is no bedtime, but there are sleepy, over extended children. There has been the example of why we cannot skateboard in the house. Even after many verbal warnings of not doing said activity, it was the activity itself that finally sunk in the reason. But all in all, this day was full of  love, laughter, joy, happiness,no real tears, no yelling. It was the best-est of the best.

I love you my family. I am blessed by you all -Thank you.